Eggs-actly what was I thinking??

Uh Yeah, so it was Monday morning. Too early to be thinking about anything but the smell of brewing coffee that was permeating my kitchen.

I open the fridge to find something to take to work for my lunch. Cool. There are still boiled eggs left from A's sandwiches yesterday, I'll make myself a sandwich. But there will still be one egg left, and since we only eat egg sandwiches once a year and today is the day, this last egg will go to waste if I don't eat it for breakfast.

I peel the egg and open the microwave door, and there sits the pain-in-the-butt dome lid that I store in the microwave. Oh for crap sake. Rather than remove it and put the egg on a plate under the lid I'll just set the egg on top of the lid and hit "Quick Start" on the mic. This automatically starts the microwave running on a 30 second timer. At about the 24-second mark, two thoughts collide inside my head. "30 seconds might be too long" and "I'd better open the door before the timer beeps and wakes up A".

Just as my hand touches the door handle at the 28-second mark, I hear the deafening sound of an AK-47 assault rifle firing a shot inside my microwave. After I regain consciousness and wipe the puddle of pee off the floor, I open the door. I guess I won't be having an egg for breakfast.